A civil war of sorts may be brewing for the peaceful nation of Canada. Two of the country's citizens are preparing for an ugly, no-holds-barred grudge match at, of all places, the upcoming Grammy Awards. "We keep telling folks it's a friendly competition," warns one of the combatants, 72-year-old Walter Ostanek (pictured), "but two minutes before the winner is announced, the friendship is over."
Such animosity stems from the fact that the category in which Ostanek opposes his archrival, young buck John Gora, who's 49, may soon be abolished. Brace yourselves, people: the Grammys may be on the verge of eliminating the annual award for best polka album.
If this is the bandleaders' last shot at Grammy glory – Ostanek has been nominated a whopping 20 times and won three; it's Gora's fourth nomination, so far with a goose egg in the win column – they're not going out without putting the squeeze on. Ostanek, who plays the so-called Cleveland style of traditional polka, titled his latest album 'Dueling Polkas.' Not to be outdone by the crusty old-timer, Gora, who grew up on rock 'n roll and is partial to the horn-inflected Chicago style, called his '07 release 'Bulletproof Polkas.'
Who knew the music of Lawrence Welk could be so violent? Ambrose Bierce once defined the much-maligned accordion as "an instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin." But despite all the battle-hardened imagery, polka is an industry in retreat, Ostanek admits. "It's for weekend warriors now," he tells the Toronto Star. If the Grammys fold the style into the broader roots or world music categories, he frets, "you'll never hear of guys like us again." Say one thing for him -- the guy really knows how to push those buttons.
Polka Singers Poised to Brawl at Grammys
Brains Beware of Dancehall
They're calling it musicogenic epilepsy -- seizures triggered, in the case of Canadian bank employee Stacey Gayle, by Sean Paul's dancehall hip hop.
On the CBS 'Early Show,' Gayle and her doctor explained that the patient recently underwent two surgeries after suffering as many as ten inexplicable grand mal seizures a day. Once they began to believe her seizures were being caused by pop music -- in particular, the pulsing music of the Jamaican pop star -- doctors implanted about 100 electrodes into her brain to find the trouble spot. In the second procedure, they removed the electrodes – and the offending part of her brain.
Ms. Gayle, who is now epilepsy-free, was said to be one of an estimated five people worldwide beset by this extremely rare condition. We're no doctors, but we have ideas. Let's see: there's Joe Cocker ... the guy who danced with the Mighty Mighty Bosstones ... David Byrne in the 'Once in a Lifetime' video... and Amy Winehouse?
A Pop Music Tax? Discuss.
Should Jay-Z be responsible for the financial well-being of the Roches? Could Rihanna keep the Fresno Philharmonic in cheap tuxedos? A recent column in the U.K.'s Guardian newspaper weighed the merits of a pop music tax that would subsidize more modest-selling forms of music, such as folk and classical.
Inspired by an NPR interview in which the author of 'Music and Revolution: Cultural Change in Socialist Cuba' explained that Cubans are, in fact, subject to such a tax, the Guardian contributor applauded the prospect. "What a great idea!" she wrote. "A minute or two of serious music education in a state school could come from every hour your child spends plugged into his or her iPod." She took pains to point out that "elite" culture isn't necessarily "better" than pop, just that it requires "more education or cultivation."
Nevertheless, the article evoked a shrill cacophony of voices in response, from lovers of music of all kinds. Some pointed out that Mozart and Strauss were simply the pop artists of their day. Others noted that the major labels have been subsidizing their classical departments with pop profits for decades, and one suggested that a classical concert featuring the music of "long dead composers" is probably much cheaper these days than concerts "by the nearly dead Led Zeppelin, Police, Rolling Stones et. al."
One classical fan professed to love pop as much as the next username, but then concluded that "it's a musical snack, not an emotional adventure." Whoa! Fifty million Celine Dion fans can't be wrong ... can they?
