Britney Spears’ Worst Idea Yet

Britney’s Daily List of Dumb Things to Do Today

1. Sleep with the married photographer that used to stalk me after only knowing him for 26 days.
2. Get knocked up with his baby because I miss my kids so much after screwing up that whole custody thing. Yeah, that was pretty dumb of me.
3. Eat a delicious, nutritious dinner of chocolates and tiny bottles of Zinfandel.
4. Oh, I almost forgot — get engaged to my creepy boyfriend so I can look at his sexy goatee forever!
5. Go out to buy a pregnancy test in public; let his photo agency take pics of the shopping trip and sell them.
6. Drive by Kevin’s house at 3 a.m. high on Taco Bell.
7. Light a cigarette in the car with a giant kitchen lighter.
8. Not shower, again.