Katie Holmes: Marathon Sham?

Katie Holmes‘ amazingly resilient boobs WERE too good to be true! We knew even a robot couldn’t withstand running 26.2 miles in that flimsy top. Anonymous internet sleuths have been attempting to unravel an possible NYC marathon conspiracy, which alleges that Katie Holmes did not run the entire race. Their proof?

* Katie’s choice of runner-unfriendly clothing, obvi.
* Her two trainers ran alongside her - one ran unregistered but wore a bib from 2003 and a tracking chip, and the other man, registered, ran the exact same split times as Katie, which many believe is impossible.
* Trainer Wesley Okerson’s mom reports that her son did indeed run the entire race with Katie, but we’re not so sure if that clears things up. Though she allegedly ran with her bodyguards the whole time, pics have surfaced of Wesley running the thing with Katie nowhere in sight. And there are no images of her running the race until the very end. Did she jump in for the last mile?

Not to knock the importance of this case, but aren’t there greater Kate-spiracies to worry about? We’re more desperate to know what’s she always hiding with those giant sunglasses, what baby factory she and Tom bought Suri from, and why they’re always laughing at nothing like a pair of crazies.