Pop Star Bombs at Box Office

Having seen first-hand the dangers of disregarding the simple-but-direct adage "don't mess with Texas," we've never screwed around with the folks of the Lone Star state -- advice that apparently never reached the geniuses behind marketing Jessica Simpson's 'Blonde Ambition.' After sensibly deciding to send the flick direct-to-video, execs at No Image films came up with the bright idea of giving the alleged comedy a limited release in Jess' backyard -- opening it at eight theaters over Christmas weekend. Sadly for Ms. Simpson, common sense outweighed home-state loyalty, as the film grossed a mere $1300 -- not counting popcorn or Ipecac sales -- over the first three days of its release.

If you do the math -- and, much like your seventh-grade teacher, we strongly encourage that you do -- that translates to just a hair under two patrons per screening. In other words, either Jess's little sister and that eyeliner-wearing boyfriend of hers were on a mission to scarf up as many tickets as possible, or she does still have eleven fans in her home state. Either way, we're not holding our breath for 'Dukes of Hazzard 2: Electric Boogaloo.'