Meet Our New Australian Boyfriend

Here he is in all his nipple-ringed glory. Meet Down Under hotness Corey Delaney, who got in a little bit of trouble after a house party he threw while his parents were out of town exploded into a debauched, 500-person booze-fest, complete with appearances by the police force and Australia’s own “Dog Squad.” But you know what, he just doesn’t give a sh*t. Because he is the man, the second coming of Spicoli with way cooler glasses - glasses that have made him famous, glasses that he refuses take off. 16-year old rebellion has never been sexier, seriously. Corey’s now on the run, chilling with friends and wheeling and dealing with managers and other D List-loving bigwigs who want to give him money. We. Are. Swooning.

Our one complaint is that buzzkill news anchor who won’t shut up about him apologizing. Doesn’t she remember when she was 15 and running around like a lunatic after chugging wine coolers behind the bushes in a friend’s yard as the cops pulled up in front of the house? Come on! Adults are like, so LAME. Right mates?